Small Update

I’ve been writing blog posts everyday, but I’ve found people that pay for them so I haven’t been as active on WordPress as I like. I’m also getting busier at work and with my hobbies, so that’s taking time too.

However, I know I can still make time to do this, I’ve just got to find it. I know of a few spots during the day where I’m being time inefficient, and I’ll try to optimize them in the coming weeks.

Something I’ve been thinking about is how to navigate my twenties. Our company   purchased a tool from another company in 2013, which is a virtual agent to handle customer claims, and we laid off thousands of call center employees.

AI/Automation is coming, and members of the current workforce such as myself must develop skills that will be hard to automate for the next 40-50 years if we are to survive.

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Sales Letter Practice 1 – Review

Last week, I wrote a sales letter for a product(shirt stays). I wrote it with three rules –

  1. Must be written to persuade a person to buy
  2. Must be a product that is actually good and will benefit lives
  3. Must not be crafted in a deceitful manner

By the way, the Amazon link I put was not an affiliate link. I made nothing from that post, nor do I stand to gain much. The only benefit I receive is practicing my writing skills.

As a person in enterprise sales, my ability to sell with words could make or break very lucrative prospecting opportunities.

I’m proud to announce that my sales letter achieved the highest views and likes anything on this blog has ever gotten.

I’d just like to go ahead and explain my three rules of writing and how I think.

Rule 1: Must be written to persuade a person to buy

One thing I learned in sales is you never get anything if you don’t ask for it. There may be some sites that review products and attach affiliate links by them, but I wanted a blog post where I asked for a sale.

People generally buy something if it’s good and they trust the salesman (with a few exceptions).

Rule 2: Must be a product that is actually good and will benefit lives

This rule is here for two reasons.

First, selling a good product and not snake oil has the competitive advantage of retaining lifetime value of a customer.

Secondly, it’s unwise to promote shitty products when it’s coming from your mouth. Your credibility and popularity plummet quickly.

Third, I made a personal decision to never hurt others after I’ve seen MLMs destroy lives. My mother was manipulated by an MLM salesman once, and I’ve seen a few other instances of folks fucking other people over to get by. I will never sell snake oil and I’d rather starve because I’ve seen just how rotten people can be for a few dollars.

Rule 3: Must not be crafted in a deceitful manner 

I told you a true story about myself. I did work at a BB bank, and I did present a project with unruly clothes.

I did wonder why all these slender men in magazines look so dapper in their dress clothes, while my fit looked like it was rummaged out of a charity bin.

The alternatives ARE tailoring, re buying our wardrobes, and convoluted methods of neatness.

Everything I said was the TRUTH.

Closing Remarks

I will never sell you garbage(unless we’re talking high quality, odor-eliminating drawstring bags) because I’ve seen first-hand how slimy, dirty, and empty salesmen work and it makes me want to both throw up and get violent.

In the future, I will attempt to persuade you to buy products that will add value to your life, and I will do it in a truthful manner.

This helps me because I improve my writing skill (each purchase is an affirmation of quality), and this helps you add tangible and/or quantifiable value to your life. What I’m doing is creating a win-win situation.

Right now, I’m testing a portfolio of health related “green” supplements (chlorella, spirulina, “green powders”, “superfood powders”, etc), and I hope I can bring you good news in a few months.

 

A Product That Will Change the Way You Wear Dress Shirts Forever

Today I discovered an invention that’s going to knock your socks off.

To men (and some) women: Have you ever noticed the annoying “muffin tops” that happen to form when you’re wearing a dress shirt and slacks?

I remember when I first noticed it. I was an intern at a bulge bracket bank, getting ready to pitch a project that I spent almost my entire summer on when I looked down and saw a giant bulge of cloth between my belly button and my belt buckle.

It looked like somebody had shoved an apple down my shirt and the apple fell right on top of my belt buckle! Not only that, I looked down and noticed the dress shirt was jutting out on the sides.

My shirt fit me like extra skin fits a liposuction patient. It was saggy, flabby, and wrinkly.

The entire presentation, I was thinking about how others would judge my appearance. My hair is naturally unkempt, I’m a clumsy guy, but what’s worse – my shirt looked Terrible.

Since that day, I looked for an answer. Why do all these slender men in magazines look so dapper in their dress clothes, while my fit looks like it was rummaged out of a charity bin?

I’d like to give you a visual aid just so you can see what I’m talking about.

 

Look at the two gentlemen pictured above. Why does the one on the left have a shirt that aggressively poofs out?

There are several reasons for this, and I’ll list a few.

  • Material – Some clothing materials slip and slide more than others
  • Tucking – Some methods of tucking a shirt in are more effective than others
  • Tailoring – A professionally tailored and tapered shirt will look better more often than not
  • Physical Activity – Getting up and down and running around will naturally make a shirt poof out

So, what are our options?

Well… we could revamp our entire wardrobe and spend a shit ton of money on clothes that actually fit us. Or we could go to a tailor and get all of our clothes professionally adjusted. Or we could find some convoluted, inefficient solution such as tucking out shirts in our underwear and duct taping the sides to our thighs.

But for a moment, let me present you with a third option that will fix ALL of your problems for just 20-30$ (Dependent on quality).

Recently, I found out about a contraption called “shirt stays”. These are basically cloth strips that you clip between the top of your sock and the bottom of your dress shirt.

How the product works is it creates friction so whenever your dress shirt wants to poof out and make a muffin top, your socks will pull the cloth which will pull the shirt back down into your pants.

Don’t believe me? Do some research on your own and read the reviews!

https://www.amazon.com/KK-Jay-Supply-Shirttail-Garters/dp/B01CZ820BG/ref=pd_sim_468_3?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B01CZ820BG&pd_rd_r=0NM2RWC9WBEBR3KYA01F&pd_rd_w=7y30S&pd_rd_wg=1Clxl&refRID=0NM2RWC9WBEBR3KYA01F

With shirt stays, you will NEVER have to constantly retuck your shirt in to get a decent look, and muffin tops will be virtually UNNOTICEABLE. The best part is the shirt stays are so tiny that you could even fit them inside of your pocket.

You will NEVER know when you need to look nice to impress someone. You may have a sudden important presentation to make, run into somebody who’s recruiting for your dream job, or even meet someone cute at the mall. With the power of shirt stays, you can have both a clean appearance and the satisfaction in knowing your shirt is secure.

There is nothing worse than having a shirt ruffle at the sides and poof at the front when you’re in the middle of an important conversation.

I hope this has added value to your life, because I’m ordering mine RIGHT NOW. All I need to do is find another item so I go over 35$ and get free shipping on Amazon 🙂

Adjustments To Be Made.

I’ve been stretching my self out too thin. Chase two rabbits you won’t catch one, all that jazz. I’ve been trying to record music, write, build websites, learn another language, and learn to sell along with a few other things. Simplification is required to guarantee my success.

I’m going to make a plan. Then I’m going to (make a decision whether to) stop posting or post less, and stick to the plan. Winning is my number one priority, and after a month of how I’m currently doing things, it’s not working as efficiently as I had hoped (especially with higher workloads at work).

I’ll be back with some ideas.

Wayne

How I Will Use the Law of Averages to Skyrocket Viewership (Bold Prediction)

Hi, I’m Wayne. I work in enterprise sales, and by the time I reach my 100th post, my viewership will skyrocket.

I’m going to do this using the law of averages. What is the law of averages you ask?

I’m too lazy to Google it, but how was explained to me is as follows: In sales, you’ll cold call 100 prospects and 98 of them will probably tell you to fuck off. But at least one or two could convert into potential customers.

The law of averages is used in more industries than sales.

Musicians make hundreds/thousands of songs until they get that *one* hit.

Entrepreneurs keep running through ideas until they commit to that *one* business.

You get the point.

What’s going to happen is: I’m going to write blog posts almost every day for the next year, and sometime in that year one of those posts will take off. Once it does, I’ll make a reference back to this post to prove my point.

I predict that I’ll be able to grow my readership by 10,000% in the next year. Here are my current stats.

weekly-daily-viewership-stats

If I’m still interested in blogging at that point, I’ll scale up even harder, and then monetize all of you while adding value to your lives. For now, I’ll keep being a broke boy.

 

P.S. I’m potentially starting a *big* project soon. I’ll be writing every day, but I could choose to hold those posts for the time being because I don’t want my ideas to be poached.

My Name’s Been Poached!

freedom-by-30-clone

As I was about to purchase this domain in early September, I found it had been claimed by another individual. Unfortunate. However, I’ll just rebrand and rename this blog. Renaming will happen soon.

What really bothers me is how similar he sounds to me. Obviously, if I’m going to build my presence online I’ll need a unique voice. Hah! Time to work.

 

 

How to Enslave Others – A Modern Day Guide

So slavery was abolished with the emancipation proclamation, but you still want to legally partake in the practice – This will be a comprehensive tutorial on how you can acquire and maintain human resources for optimal value accrual.

Phase 1: Acquisition

Strategy: Since flat-out slavery has been abolished in America, one should focus on the next best thing: Wage Slavery. Making sure your mark lives paycheck to paycheck, never questioning the seemingly positive intentions of your organization.

Execution: Ideally, you want to grab people when they’re young. College campuses are a great place to do this, especially at “lower-tier” institutions. At premier institutions, you’ll have to compete with the likes of prestigious investment banks, consulting firms, private equity firms, etc. But at middling public state schools, your seemingly “elite” job opportunity will have a much better chance at breathing.

Execution Continued – Sunk Cost: You want to first recruit for an internship position at your organization. Ideally, this position is UNPAID. Many corporations give paid internships, but if you can sell your internship well enough, you won’t need to pay anybody anything. This is a bit easier when you work for a prestigious company. One benefit of that is a lot of these college kids will be so excited to work for such a big name they won’t even question the position they’re being put in.

People will constantly justify how they spend their time and money, especially if the spending can be perceived as a waste. You know from the past, kids graduating from your unpaid internship raved at how great of a “learning experience” and “developmental opportunity” it was.

Vegas Tip: It wasn’t. They were on their phones and muting/ignoring 100+ Person conference calls 90% of the time.

Phase 2: The Close

Strategy: You typically see higher conversion rates with kids who have done internships because they have invested time (for free) in your organization. What you want to do is to get these kids to sign an employment offer (before) their next recruiting season, when they could receive a better offer. You’ll likely take the top batch of kids, and tell them that “company policy” only gives them a week to respond (the week before recruiting season).

From experience, you should know that a lot of these kids are in debt, and since they’re in college instead of going bankrupt to start a business or moving to LA to pursue acting, they’ve got some degree of risk aversion. You want to capitalize on this risk aversion and MAKE SURE THEY SIGN A LEGALLY BINDING DOCUMENT guaranteeing their allegiance to your company. Here are some ideas to sell to the kids:

  1. This is an opportunity of a lifetime
  2. You will get rich/build a career/ etc. etc. here
  3. We barely give out offers, but we liked you so much so…

Phase 3: Onboarding

Now your mark has decided to stay in the slave quarters, it’s time to properly initiate them into their shackles.

Strategy: You want to onboard these employees as soon as possible, and build an even deeper emotional connection between your company and them. At this point, you are spending money to initiate these kids in your company – remind them of that (without reminding them of how much value they themselves bring). You want to position yourself to be viewed as a generous benefactor – giving a gift to these kids that they wouldn’t get elsewhere.

Execution: At this point, it’s a very good decision to get all of the new employees together at some sort of corporate retreat or welcome event. You’ll hire great chefs, provide top-tier lodging (that they won’t get again), and probably hire a motivational speaker (who makes more in one speech then they do in 6 months). You also want to relocate your employees and get them out of their comfort zone.

This will accomplish a few things:

  1. Begins creating dependence. In their relocated area, you are the ONLY hub of familiarity.
  2. Social bonds forming – if the new hires can befriend eachother, higher chance of employee satisfaction/them sticking around
  3. Positive emotional feelings: being treated to a motivational speaker, high end food, and lodging (They think: The company really cares!!!)

Phase 4: Dependence (The Choke)

At this point you want to make sure the employee is dependent on you for their livelihood. There are a few hot tips I can give you on accomplishing this but on a high level, what you want to do is to limit their wallet, limit their mobility, and limit their livelihood.

Limit Their Wallet

Pay them a misleading number – a great way to do this is to pay them above the national average (50k), but relocate them to an area where they make less than the area average (say NYC/LA). This will ensure they depend on you paycheck to paycheck, and will be more incentivized to bring value to your organization. Let’s say for this example you give them 70K in LA.

Now you want to grind out their living expenses – you’ll do this by placing them in a office in an area that has very high living costs, so they’ll be paying at least 2-3K for a single and 1.5-2k for a shared per month. Let’s be honest, a college kid in debt isn’t going to put a down on a condo.

So let’s think about it: They’re making car payments, debt payments, rent payments, gas payments, electricity payments, grocery payments, water payments, sewage payments, trash payments, internet payments, phone payments, cable payments, insurance payments, healthcare payments, eyecare payments, dental payments, entertainment payments, card payments, and most importantly, they will be making LARGE payments to their RETIREMENT ACCOUNTS. This should leave them with little to no money left over.

Limit Their Mobility

You want to limit their ability to – Move somewhere else, move to another job, and move to another company.

  1. Move Somewhere Else – Ideally get it through to the slave’s mind that the position is only for wherever you relocate them to, and stick them in a TEAM that works exclusively in that region
  2. Move to another job – You want to pidgeonhole them in a role as soon as possible. Make sure to train them in skills ONLY RELEVANT to their current job, so when they look at the job bank in the future, they see that none of their skills match any job descriptions of better roles.
  3. Move to another company – Several ways to do this: make promises to the slave of advancement and greater opportunity, a common strategy is to give them 200% more work and 20% more pay – a huge raise for them but huger for you. Also keep their spirits up.

Limit Their Livelihood

Misleading title. You want them to be lively, but ONLY at your company.

Ideally, get them happy – keep spirits up with corporate motivational seminars, free food occasionally, and other projects that cost pennies on the dollar compared to the value they bring. An occasional calculated gesture will go a long way for a slave.

Since you relocated them, they’ll be far away (ideally) from positive sources of reinforcement. Therefore, you have a great chance at being one of the only positive stimuli in your slave’s life.

Phase 5: Future Risk Mitigation

So you’ve done it. You’ve successfully brainwashed your first slave – here are some closing pointers for getting the maximum return on your human investment.

Ideally you want to put them in a dead end job – no chance of advancement with more delegated work opportunities and limited upside is ideal. When they’re at the dead end job, attempt to automate their job. For example, if you have them in a call center, work on a virtual agent that will handle simple customer tickets. If they’re a stock broker, get a developer team to create a trading app that will do their job for them.

While in this role, make sure to keep them happy by giving them arbitrary raises. If inflation goes up by 3.33%, give them 2-3%. SELL it as a RAISE, even though it’s just an adjustment to income. Maybe you’ll give them one BIG raise every 5 years or so, but just make sure it comes with more responsibility.

Create a family atmosphere. One of the most strategically sound things you can do is to FOOL THEM into thinking that HR IS THEIR FRIEND. After they think HR is their friend, have HR build a file on the slave, incase you need to get rid of them (restructuring, layoffs, etc.)

This file can include:

  1. Browsing history (Reddit, Facebook, etc.)
  2. Gaming
  3. Anything incriminating against the employee

Finally, once they retire, frame it as a thank you to their years of service to their company (really they’re just getting too old and making too much so you want them gone). Maybe give them a few stocks to keep them invested in the new generation as they become a senior employee.

Closing Remarks 

So now you have a *rough* framework on how to acquire, maintain, and work slaves to optimal levels. On a high level, what you want to do is to 1) Get them young 2) Brainwash them 3) Keep Them Happy and 4) Keep Them Productive. As per typical corporate American standards, you’ll pay them 10%-15% of the calculated value they bring to your company.

A quick google search shows me employee lifetime earnings in America average at about 1.7M. This means that they should ATLEAST be bringing in 17M of value. If so, you have successfully enslaved a fellow human being without them even knowing about it, and have made a lot of money in the process. All in a day’s work!